Thursday afternoon

It's hard to believe it, but in a little of a week's time I will be subjecting myself to the most extreme diet I have ever done. But as Guy Fawkes (may have) said: 'desperate deeds call for desperate measures' (or whatever). I am now heavier than I have ever been in my life and have decided that enough is enough. With 5 stones to shift, I have opted for the Lighter Life programme - a mixture of very low calorie food replacement packs and group  counselling. Even my doctor has agreed that, in the short term, it's for the best. So the goal is to lose at least 3 stone in 14 weeks, and then see what's best to do next. My first meeting is next Thursday evening, and then I have just under 100 days of living on little more than 500 calories a day. It sounds very little, and I'm sure my energy output is going to be correspondingly little, which is a slight worry with two two year old toddlers (twin boys). 

I feel rather like a prisoner condemned to death, being allowed to choose her last meal, this week. Of course, I have no idea at all what being on death row feels like but it's a handy analogy. The thought that if you had only one last meal, what would it be? I've already informed the masterchef that I'd like Roast Beef for supper on Sunday. We will no doubt have a haggis for Burns Night on Monday. Tuesday night is supper with a friend - must make sure it's a good one! But then, after Thursday all the choices go to be replaced with a truly uninspiring choice of soups, shakes and bars. Not food. Food packs. Fuel. Not something that you can enjoy with family and friends around the dinner table. For someone who loves their food, I know I will miss the sheer pleasure of eating. The 'mouth feel' of meals. The enjoyment of a good glass of red wine. But there we are. It's what got me into this mess (albeit partially - a dodgy thyroid and the hell of carrying twins were a contributing factor).  Let's hope that Lighter Life can help me get myself out of it.